Bullying
Check out this article featured in Midlands Woman Magazine and Lexington Woman Magazine.
Rarely do we look into the crib at that precious newborn and see a child who will become a bully, be bullied or stand by and watch another person bullied. Yet, statistics show that bullying takes place every seven minutes on our playgrounds and goes unreported a majority of the time. Bullying is a learned behavior. It is meanness, a quality we do not want to see in ourselves and especially not in our children. In view of recent suicides throughout the country, we must recognize bullying as a serious problem, with serious repercussions and in need of serious attention. As parents, we are our children’s greatest teachers. We must model kindness and show that bullying will not be tolerated. A person is bullied when he or she is exposed, repeatedly and over time, to negative actions on the part of one or more person, and has difficulty defending himself or herself. Bullying comes in many forms, both direct and indirect.
Physical bullying involves hitting, kicking, shoving and spitting with the intention of causing physical harm and fear. Physical bullying is most often done by boys to other boys.
Verbal bullying includes name-calling, teasing and making insults or threats to embarrass and intimidate.
Social or relational bullying is mental harassment by teasing, excluding or humiliating. Threatening gestures, body language, dirty looks and gossip are used to isolate individuals and destroy status within a peer group. Social bullying is most often done by girls to other girls.
Cyber bullying is the newest and perhaps the most harmful type of bullying our children are experiencing. Text messages, voicemails, e-mails and social networking sites are used to threaten, intimidate and spread false rumors about a victim. Our children are tech savvy but often emotionally insensitive to the feelings of others. In today’s world of immediate connection, one photo upload or derogatory post can go “viral,” causing great harm and hurt almost instantly.
As parents, we must stay connected with our children. Talk with them, listen to them and get to know their friends. Let them know that bullying is wrong, unacceptable and carries serious consequences. Watch for signs that your child is being bullied. If he or she no longer wants to go to school or ride the bus, begins losing his or her school supplies or lunch money, has unexpected cuts and bruises, you may have a problem and you need to investigate. Go to the proper authorities. Start at the school, but do not stop there if the issue is not resolved.
Bullying is not only about the bully and the victim. Bullying also impacts those who witness such acts. Many simply stand by and do nothing, often resulting in years of emotional distress and guilt. We must teach our children empathy. We must show them how to treat others and encourage them to seek help. In the simplest words, we must foster love and kindness.
If you suspect your child is a victim of bullying, check out these Tips for Parents. For more tips and other information and resources related to bullying, how to stop and prevent it, visit:
Data compiled in part from Olweus and the Bully-Free Program.
